I've been thinking about how easy it is to go through my daily routine without much awareness. I can get so focused in on what I have to do that day or that week, that I can bypass most every detail that doesn't concern my to do list. I'm learning that it's often a protection for me. I very much identify with what Eddie shared yesterday, the noise and busyness helps us avoid the questions and fears that come up when we're alone.
This morning we had some study/prayer time as a staff, and I was reminded how even my noticing / awareness can become a distraction, a place to hide. What I mean is that it's easy for me to notice something, to think I have it figured out, and thus don't have to think about it anymore. Whether that's how pretty a flower is, the song of a bird, or the point of one of Jesus' parables, I've got it. That is, until something happens...like it did last week for me.
And I'm exposed. I haven't been noticing, I've been checking things off a list. I'm not aware of God's goodness, I'm expecting Him to bless me and do His part while I do mine. The "God is an angry judge" narrative that I thought I'd put behind me rears it's ugly head once again.
And yet:
"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases,
His mercies never come to an end.
They are new every morning, great is Thy faithfulness." Lamentations 3:22-23
Once again I hear the Spirit calling me back into His presence, to be silent and still and listen. To be reminded that even nature speaks to the reality that God is good, and no matter what we face, He is with us. Thank you Lord for the grace to learn again what you've shown me so many times, increase my faith and transform me from the inside out.
No comments:
Post a Comment