On Being a Texan and Being a Christian

Stanley Hauerwas (pictured) once wrote an essay entitled "On Being a Texan and a Christian," an essay that I felt especially drawn to when I spent time abroad in Germany. There's something about being a minority that incites us to realize, understand, and cling to our own unique identity and heritage. As I read Smith's thoughts about the "narratives" we each have in our life I recalled this essay and realized that both "Texan" and "Christian" were narratives woven into my life. But narrative feels like a funny word for this sort of idea, so I felt like these narratives might also be understood as the legacies, heritages, or identities that each of us hold in our lives. Here's how I broke it down:

Family narrative/legacy: "What does it mean to be a Pierce?"
Cultural narrative/legacy: "What does it mean to be a Texan/American (etc.)?"
Religious narrative/legacy: "What does it mean to be a Christian?"

By interpolating the concept of legacy or heritage onto the broader narrative concept, I was better able to make some meaning out of what he was saying. I have specific content, that is constantly under revision and addition, as to what each of these things mean. Moreover, for me (and as I suspect, for most), the familial and cultural legacies I inherit are contingent and obedient to my religious legacy, but they also provide important layers and stories as to how to understand and interpret that religious legacy.

For instance, my dad loves to comment (read: brag) that my brother and I are 5th generation CofC on one side and 4th on the other side. Being a part of this particular religious tradition has a lot of influence on how I interpret my broader religious legacy of Christianity. Moreover, being a part of a long line of family members who were faithful Christians adds a deeper sense of duty, purpose, and meaning to my life as a Christian. To be a Pierce is to be a faithful Christian both with respect to how these Pierce's (and other surnames I'm related to) have practiced it, and with respect to how my own life will add or innovate to that legacy. My son will have one more story to remember as he grows into his own faith.

Not that one needs a long line of faithful Christians in their family to have this kind of meaning. (Indeed, not all Texans are good Christians!) One need only look to the virtues and other admirable qualities of our ancestors, fellow Texans/Americans, and Christian brothers and sisters, to weave quite a grand story of a cloud of witnesses who have gone before and await us when we return to God.

Community and Spiritual Formation...They really go together?

As I read this section in the chapter, I must say I intellectually agreed with him that spiritual formation as God intended must happen in community. I have taught this for years to parents, teens, and children. Yet, I also realized that my actual internal belief system rebels against this idea. And in thinking and praying on this, I realized that it actually comes back to the earlier part of the chapter about narratives.

Part of my cultural heritage as an American is the idea that I - as an individual - can accomplish what I set my mind to. I have even twisted examples of spiritual development from my own family to fit this individualistic model (but in re-examining the story my grandfather's spiritual depth did not come from a solo exercise, but a constant communal experience. The same is true for my mom.)

Another part of me (and maybe you) resists the idea of casting my spiritual formation into the realm of community, because then not only am I potentially dependent upon others, but I am vulnerable to my failures being visible. Yet, this misses the concept of community that God intended. It's not a focus on failure, but a spotlight on serving each other - aiding each other - growing alongside each other.

We cannot grow alone.  We need the family that God has prepared for us.

 ²⁹ Jesus said, "I tell you the truth, all those who have left houses, brothers, sisters, mother, father, children, or farms for me and for the Good News ³⁰ will get more than they left. Here in this world they will have a hundred times more homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children, and fields. And with those things, they will also suffer for their belief. But in the age that is coming they will have life forever. ³¹ Many who are first now will be last in the future. And many who are last now will be first in the future." (Mark 10:29-31, New Century Version)

If it's to be it's up to...who?

The spiritual disciplines are wisdom, not righteousness. (p.27). I keep coming back to these words in the chapter. They aren't new words, I've heard them before. Yet right now, in this season of my life, they seem new again.

As I reflect, I think of the ways in which I use the disciplines to measure myself spiritually. If I'm honest I can use them to barter with God, like they're the cosmic "rubbing of the lamp" so that the Genie will pop out and grant me my three wishes.

At the same time, there's a sense of rest and relief that I feel as I read these words. My mind goes to Matthew 11:

"Come to me, all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I'm gentle and humble
in heart, and you will find rest for your soul. For my yoke is easy and
my burden is light." (28-30)

Lately the disciplines have seemed more of a burden than a grace. Completing them has been about righteousness, not wisdom. This chapter has been a good reminder to me that change happens not in how much I do, but rather, in what God is doing in me. I look forward to our conversations and to seeing God's hand at work in us.

Holy Spirit as Soul Trainer

In The Good and Beautiful God (GBG), Smith asserts that the Holy Spirit is at work in everything that happens to us in our Christian lives. He does not need the spotlight because He lives to point to the Father and the Son, but He is always at work (p. 28). The soul-training exercises we undertake are effective as the Spirit comes alongside of us in each one: "When we practice solitude or silence, when we engage in service or simplicity, it is the Spirit who is aiding us and encouraging us" (p. 29).

So we have this comprehensive call for the companionship of Spirit in our lives. In Luke 11 Jesus says that the Father knows how to give good gifts—even the Holy Spirit to those who ask, seek and knock for His Presence. University Avenue has been asking for the Spirit of God in greater measure for almost 1000 days, Sunday by Sunday: "Come, Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of the faithful and kindle in them the fire of your love...." The call for the Spirit to be with us and in us is not some idle exercise or embellishment of liturgy. We come before the Living God asking for the Life-Giving Spirit to be poured into our lives more and more.

And so we seek the Spirit's work in our lives. We will not grieve the Spirit. We will not quench the Spirit. We will blaze to the glory of Father in service of the Son by the power of the Spirit.

I'll Sleep when I'm Dead.

As a person with a newborn who, between his own idiosyncrasies and our failures to properly help him,  sleeps 3-4 hours at a time (on a good day) and 20-30 minutes at a time (on very bad days), I feel at a loss as to how I can effectively get the kind of sleep recommended by the book. In fact, the idea of the discipline of getting a lot of sleep is actually new to me. I think there is a certain Texas 'good ole boy' syndrome where keeping the midnight oil burning is actually a very respectable sign of a hard-working mature person. I remember quite a few late nights and all-nighters in grad school and still find it tempting to finish up something I was working on during the day when I get home.

Moreover, in the texts on spirituality I'm more acquainted with sleep (at least 9 hours of sleep) is actually considered to be an obstacle to spiritual growth. It was thought to encourage sloth and a passive state of mind that allows all sorts of influences to take root. Vigils were practiced in order to keep the mind sharp, focused on God, constantly aware of bad thoughts seeking to slip in. But this kind of literature was largely written for monks and I wonder if Mr. Smith's thoughts are of a different kind of discipline more suited for those of us "in the world."

Usually, I think the reasons why we don't get enough sleep is either because we're over-working, or caught up in some kind of addictive entertainment. These are cares that a monk wouldn't exactly face, but two very big temptations and distractions from God that can be very destructive to our biological and spiritual lives. Perhaps it is that we simply face different demons from those living outside of mainstream society.

To be honest, I feel a little bit in the middle. On the one hand, at this point in my life, I simply can't get 9 continual hours of sleep (not without leaving Sierra alone to fend with the little one). On the other hand, I certainly recognize the benefits and importance of it. But behind the amount of sleep I think we see the more important discipline of being still--not distracting ourselves to sleep, but rather simply getting into bed, lying still, and practicing controlling one's mind, not allowing it to fleet from our daily cares, interests, and desires. Instead, focusing our mind on better things. For me, this is my middle ground.

Cultural narrative

It may be cheesy, but as I read about the narratives that had formed my thinking about the world, I couldn't deny that this scene from The Empire Strikes Back was probably one of the most influential bits of my cultural narrative.  As a 5-year-old (yep that's how old I was when it originally came out...hid my ham that I didn't want to eat under a napkin in order to be allowed to go to the movie), this was ground shaking.  And as I grew older, I realized that Yoda's teaching of the Force had influenced my understanding of right and wrong, God, and my relationship to the world.  So, yes, it's cheesy, and I could have pulled from several other narratives, but this was what first came to my mind.  So it's what I shared.  Enjoy!

Chapter 1 and 'Sleep' Reflections

Reply in the 'Comments' section to post your thoughts and reflections on the first chapter "What Are You Seeking" and the soul-training exercise for the week: sleep. Read the other posts from the rest of the group and feel free to comment if you like.